Reflection on My Own Journey

This was actually a response to a friend which prompted a good bit of personal reflection. Maybe it’s worth sharing here…

Whenever I think about my own story/journey (which is unfortunately about as often as I receive questions about it)…I begin to imagine how strange my ministry/life journey may look from the outside. Ha! Let me start by backing up a bit.

In the midst of my initial academic pursuit of chemistry/physics and a career choice of chemical engineering, I discerned some type of ‘calling’ which motivated me to change my major to religion (because I hadn’t read Os Guinness’ book yet entitled Calling) and transfer to Mount Vernon. From early on, I’d say that I had an awareness of wanting to be in the university/college setting but felt like youth ministry was probably the best place to start. Before I had even graduated from MVNC, I had mentally charted a course of youth ministry for a few years…then an advanced degree…then more youth ministry…catapulting myself from a “successful” youth ministry position at one of our larger Naz churches into a teaching role (CE, youth ministry, NT, Greek, whatever) at one of our Naz colleges or something similar. Sounds humanly contrived and manipulative, eh?

About 3/4 of the way into that plan…I began to have some real struggles with ecclesiology and calling (among other things…but especially in these areas). I began to see that most youth ministries were completely based on an attractional and quite ineffective model of ministry, which was not really producing long-term disciples and Kingdom-minded Jesus people. My nagging need to raise so many questions about the way we “do” church began to make it more and more difficult for me to peacefully exist within and support the ministries where I was serving.

That’s not to say that the churches where I served were bad churches, ineffective, or unhealthy. On the contrary, I really believe that I was privileged to serve in some of our best Nazarene churches with teams of really bright, loving, and passionate Christ followers.

Anyway, this struggle and ecclesiological unrest led to a new temporary career with Starbucks which simultaneously supported my final 18 months of full-time theological education at Ashland Seminary. Once I earned an M.Div and then tried to settle into a management track at Starbucks, the demons of discontent began nibbling at my heels once again. At that point I tried to realign our situation with the aforementioned goals and attempted one last youth ministry assignment which I mistakenly thought would allow me to incorporate a more missional and relational approach (please excuse the buzz words) to student ministry.

As I look back, it’s pretty clear now that God was preparing me to transition into campus/college ministry at that point. Instead, I took matters into my own hands and added another three years to my desert wandering and career-vocation transition. So back to Starbucks I went and then into an overly convenient staff position at a newly planted church on the eastside of Cincinnati where we still attend.

Six months ago, during a lunch conversation with our district superintendent, the idea of campus ministry seemed to jump out like this giant “Eureka”-type moment. For 3 to 5 years I had been struggling with a depressing sense of disconnect and wondering if I just did not “fit” the context of typical church-staff style (or even Nazarene) ministry. Suddenly, the fog began to clear and my ministerial despair almost instantly turned into overwhelmingly hopeful potential to develop a new ministry within the challenging context of the University. The district sent me on a quest to Nebraska to meet with Wes and Judy Meisner who were launching a new ministry to the University of Nebraska at Lincoln and that conversation brought even more affirmation to this new direction.

Another big piece of this journey for me was a place called 1801 Mills. To put it simply, God gave me a place during this whole process to kind of fall apart and process my own story with an amazing bunch of grace-bearers. Larry, the director of 1801 Mills & The Espresso Guild has become a mentor and soul-friend and one who recognized my unique giftings that are as suited for campus ministry as perhaps anything. Along with Larry were many others who shared wisdom, grace, insight, and even miraculous provision along the way. Without that significant place and group of people, my journey towards soul repair would have been much longer if not impossible.

Along with Larry’s friendship and mentorship…he introduced me to a campus ministry organization called the CCO which has now become a key partner in my ministry to students at UC. The CCO (www.ccojubilee.org) creates partnerships with churches, coffeehouses, and other organizations in order to transform college students who will, in turn, transform the world. So we developed a proposal for the district advisory board here and launched this new ministry at UC that is a partnership between the district church and the CCO. The district basically supports 40% of our salary and we are attempting to raise the other 60%. Although this is an awkwardly new approach to gaining financial support, we are learning a great deal about faith and God’s ability to provide.